Tuesday, February 22, 2011

10 Ways To Win Friends And Influence People

It's been a long time since I have read the famous book: How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie, but some of its teachings remain with me. I suppose that is why it is famous- classic good advice that doesn't change with the times.

The main idea I got from the book is that to win friends and influence people you have to really like people. You have to like to be around them, to be social and involved in a lot of people's lives.

Even if you do like people, this book will still motivate you to work. You can't be lazy and expect people to flock to you and do what you want. First you have to win them over. Some call it an art. I call it knowledge.

Here is a checklist of advice gleaned from the book:

1. Use a person's name. People tend to feel good when they hear their name. Sometimes people also love friendly nicknames. Come up with a nickname for all of your friends.

2. Ask the person to teach you something that they take pride in/are interested in. People feel good about themselves when they are teaching people.

3. Sincerely compliment people. Tell them that they look great, that you appreciate their hard work, that you love them. Even if you dislike a person, you can always find one thing that you like about them. It could be the watch they wear or the car they drive.

4. Listen and repeat back bits of what they just said. This shows people that you are really listening. Understand. Try to put yourself in their position and really understand where they are coming from.

5. Smile and make eye contact. If you smile at people they feel more at ease.

6. Remember their spouse and children's names. Remember their interests. Then when you see them, you can ask them how their family is or if they are still interested in __________. Remembering things about people makes them feel special.

7. Help a person. If someone is in need in anyway, see what you can do to help. This will show them that you care.

8. Spend quality time with them. The activity isn't important, just being together is what matters. Even watching TV together can make people feel closer to you, but better yet do something where you can talk.

9. Give them gifts. It could be as cheap as a homemade card, a picked flower or as expensive as a piece of jewelry. It depends on the person and your budget, but remember it is the thought that counts and the gift should convey that you were thinking of them.

10. Look your best so people feel comfortable around you- not too flashy or too sloppy.

Best Advice: Decide to like everyone and communicate with anyone whenever you get a chance to be friendly!


Lauri said...

love it.. so positive

Brasil said...

I was always curious about this famous book, and it was all I thought it would be and more. It contais valuable advice about human nature and how to deal with people in all kinds of situations. It also has wonderful real-life stories about how people's lives were changed by, for example, a simple word of encouragement. I'd highly recommend the CD instead of the book.

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